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Am I failing at adulthood?

Am I failing at adulthood?

I recently read a post by brilliant Mouse, Moo and Me Too on MeetOtherMums about being in your 30s. She said, “Thirties folk seem, to me, to have uprevved their quality of life and preparations for the future.” And it made me think – am I a proper adult now that I’m in my mid-30s?

I suspected not, but I wasn’t sure. So I made a list.

Ways I’m winning at adulting:

  • Got married.
  • Had a baby.
  • Have a pension.
  • Have a savings account.
  • Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
  • Wear sensible shoes.
  • Floss regularly.
  • Eat things like kale and quinoa and actually enjoy them.
  • Have a stable job.
  • Recycle often, even the food waste that has to go into that teeny compost bin under the sink.
  • Chose a Dyson vacuum as my pre-baby gift to myself.
  • Wash up the dishes immediately after eating.
  • Wear sunscreen.
  • Would love to spend an afternoon of de-cluttering the bedroom closet. Like, would really, really love it. More than a night out in a sparkly top.

Ways I’m failing at adulting:

  • Don’t have a mortgage.
  • Don’t have any investments or assets. Had to Google ‘assets’ because I didn’t know what an asset is.
  • Don’t own my own furniture except for a desk that my cat has peed on, a nursing chair and an IKEA bookcase.
  • Have never hosted a dinner party. Didn’t even own more than four plates until three weeks ago, when my little brother took pity on me and bought me a set for my birthday.
  • Cannot do any of the following: bleed a radiator, plaster a ceiling or change a tyre.
  • Eat Nutella straight out of the jar.
  • Don’t iron my clothes. Not sure I still own an iron.
  • Don’t fold my clothes. Scrunch them up into balls and shove them into drawers that get so full that the bottoms fall out every few weeks.
  • Don’t have a garden. Have never gardened. Operated a lawn mower exactly once 20 years ago.
  • Have never converted a loft or extended a kitchen or upcycled anything.
  • Watch TV dramas about high school girls instead of proper adult programmes like Question Time and Antiques Roadshow.
  • Don’t know how to pick out a good wine. Choose wines based on the fanciness of the bottle and the foreignness of the name.
  • Don’t own a suit. Do, however, own an Iron Man mask and Gryffindor scarf.

In conclusion:

I’m a bit s**t at adulting.


I’ve still done the most adult thing possible, which is create another person. I’ll try remember the sheer magnitude of that very grow-up responsibility the next time someone tries to engage me in conversation about interest rates or damp proofing.

24 thoughts on “Am I failing at adulthood?”

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