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If my toddler could talk: our morning commute

If my toddler could talk: our morning commute

Me: [Puts on the baby carrier]

Popple: [Raises her hands] Up up up up up!

Me: Okay, let’s go up! Are you ready to go outside?

Popple: OUTSIDE? I love the outside! [Kicks her legs wildly]

Me: Okay, let’s go wait for the bus!

Popple: I love buses!

Me: I know! Buses are your favourite.

[Walk across the street and stand at the bus stop]

Popple: Where is this bus you were telling me about?

Me: It’s coming, I promise. Let’s watch the cars go by while we’re waiting.

Popple: I JUST SAW A TRUCK!

Me: Yes, trucks are good, aren’t they?

Popple: But where is the bus?

Me: The bus will be here soon. Look! [Points to our reflection in a car window] Who’s that?

Popple: [Smiles and kicks her feet] IT’S ME! I’M IN THAT CAR!

Me: Yes you are! Isn’t that exciting?

Popple: But…

Me: I know, I know. You want the bus. The bus is a few minutes late today.

Popple: I want to get down now.

Me: You can’t get down. The bus isn’t here yet.

Popple: But I want to go pick up that shiny thing.

Me: That shiny thing is a piece of broken glass. It’s pointy and it will hurt you.

Popple: I’m just going to go get it. [Starts squirming]

Me: No no no, you’re staying right here. Look – here comes our bus!

Popple: THE BUS! BUS BUS BUS BUS BUS!

[Get on the bus and sit down]

Me: Isn’t this great? We’re on the bus!

Popple: I want to get off now.

Me: But…

Popple: I WANT TO GET OFF! [Flails and screams at the top of her lungs]

Me: Here’s a rice cake.

[Popple stuffs it into her mouth. Finishes it.]

Popple: GET ME OFF THIS BUS!

Me: Here’s a rice cake.

[Continue to ply her with rice cakes for the next 30 minutes until we arrive in town.]

Me: Okay, this is our stop. Time to get off the bus.

Popple: [Waves wildly at the bus as it departs] Bye bye bus! Bye bye! I love you!

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