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No excuses, men: don’t get your junk out at work

No excuses, men: don’t get your junk out at work

Hey men.

Listen.

We need to talk.

If you’ve been checking the news lately, you’ll be aware that some of your fellow dudes are making you look bad when it comes to dealing with us women-folk.

As a working mother with a daughter, I’ve found the past few weeks pretty disturbing. The New York Times listed over 20 men who have been accused of sexual harassment since the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke. The list includes actors, bloggers, politicians, editors and photographers, suggesting that no industry is free of men who think that waving their junk around in the office is just a bit of a laugh.

On that note, if you’re ever wondering whether you should get your penis out, here’s a helpful guide to when it’s okay and when it’s not.

A decision tree for men to help them decide whether or not they should get their penis out

Some of these men seem to be under the impression that they haven’t really done anything wrong. Here’s how they excuse their behaviour:

They were into it

Here’s how Kentucky speaker of the house Jeff Hoover responded to allegations that he sexually harassed female colleagues:

“I engaged in banter that was consensual but make no mistake it was wrong on my part to do that. And for that, I am truly sorry. … I want to reiterate that at no time, at no time did I engage in unwelcome or unwanted conduct of any kind.”

He claims the sexually-explicit banter was consensual, but was their boss, and therefore in a position of power. One of his accusers says she only went along with it because because another legislative staffer told her she needed to keep Hoover happy in order to advance her career.

No one’s career should depend upon responding to texts like, “My phone was in seat between my legs. You texted and it vibrated. Shew.”

First of all, gross. Second of all, who says ‘shew’?

It’s part of their job

“Many of his professional interactions with subjects were sexual and explicit in nature but all of the subjects of his work participated consensually,” said a spokesperson for fashion photographer Terry Richardson, who has been accused of sexually harassing models who he worked with.

Models’ work may sometimes involve them being scantily clad, but their lack of clothes isn’t an invitation for harassment. They’re at work. So are you. Act like it.

It’s an age thing

Andy Dick responded to groping allegations by saying, “I don’t know the difference between sexual harassment and trying to get a date. In the ’70s, all the girlfriends I got was by kissing and licking their cheek. I don’t know anymore.”

Plenty – hopefully, most – men in their 50s have figured out that plenty things that were acceptable in the 70s are no longer okay. Not wearing seat belts, for instance. Sending your kid to the corner shop to buy you cigarettes. Cycling without a helmet. Going out in the sun without sunblock. Licking women’s faces is no different, except that it’s creepier. And I’m pretty sure this was never a thing.

I was just being nice

Executive producer Andrew Kreisberg has been accused of sexually harassing 19 people. His response?

“I have made comments on women’s appearances and clothes in my capacity as an executive producer, but they were not sexualized.”

In fact, all of his accusers tell similar stories involving sexualized comments about their appearance and desirability, as well as unwanted touching, kissing, and requests for massages. There’s a big difference between that and, “Hey, I like your new shoes.”

Guys, it’s pretty straightforward. It’s never okay to grope a female colleague – or any woman, really – without her consent. It’s never okay to make sexual comments or advances that could make her feel uncomfortable. Never. No excuses.

Here’s a good rule of thumb: if you’re ever about to do or say something and you think, “Is this appropriate?”, it probably isn’t. So just…don’t.

And keep your junk in your pants. I can’t stress that enough.

 

Photo by Brock DuPont on Unsplash



12 thoughts on “No excuses, men: don’t get your junk out at work”

  • It all seems so simple doesnt it to us women. Im just hoping that this series of allegations and the media reporting of it leads to real change inattitudes from men in the future. #fortheloveofblog

  • The allegations against Harvey and all the other men that have been accused ever since is very shocking and deeply disturbing. I think this advice applies to both men and women though. Nobody, either man or woman, should have to endure unwanted sexual advances at any time of their life. Like you said, if you have to question if something is appropriate then it probably isn’t. X #fortheloveofBLOG

  • Harresment of any kind to anyone is just wrong. I can’t believe the pathetic excuses some of these people came out with to try and justify what they had done.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

  • Ugh. I hate this – it really resonates with me. In fact, I left a job several years ago because my boss started isolating me and then trying to illicit lewd conversations with me. One day he told the rest of the staff they could leave early, but told me I had to stay behind to finish writing up my notes. He then called me upstairs, where he was sat behind his desk totally naked from the waist down, protesting that he’d accidentally spilt tea down himself and had to take his clothes off to dry them. I threw my notes on the desk and fled the building. I left the job shortly afterwards. It was super creepy and made me feel vulnerable and preyed upon.

  • I’m pretty sure these men knew it was wrong but it has been going on since women entered the work force. Particularly within Hollywood and Politics, it somewhere along the way, became a “tradition”. I remember stories my great-aunt used to tell me when she used to style hair for actors, producers, politicians, etc. She traveled with Revlon all over the United States. She said the things women felt they HAD to do in order to get or keep their jobs was what was expected of the time. But these same women ended up also being called all sorts of names for it and gaining bad reputations because of it, while the men got no punishment whatsoever. I’m really glad that old attitude is finally being addressed. I really hope this whole mentality of harassing women in the workplace because they can ends soon. #ablogginggoodtime

  • Urgh it’s just awful and there is so much of it in the media at the moment, in fact I think the media and social media has made it all so much worse. Men just need to keep themselves to themselves in the workplace! Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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