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What I won’t be doing this Christmas

What I won’t be doing this Christmas

There are lots of Christmas post going around the blogosphere these days. Christmas gift lists. Warm musings about favourite holiday traditions. Pinterest-worth Christmas crafts.

This is not that kind of post.

This is a post about what I’m not planning to do this Christmas.

I’m not a grinch or anything. I actually like Christmas in all its cinnamon-scented, snow-covered glory, especially now that I have a child. That being said, there are certain Christmassy obligations that I will be ignoring this year.

I will not:

Take my daughter to see Santa.

The Popple:

  • Is not a big fan of strangers (much like her parents)
  • Is too young to really get the concept of an old man coming down the chimney to bring her presents, especially since our chimney is blocked off by a remote-controlled electric fireplace
  • Can’t actually tell Santa what she wants because her vocabulary is pretty much limited to animal sounds and ‘choo-choo’

So what, exactly, would be the point of taking her to see Father Christmas? I don’t need a picture of my daughter crying on a pensioner’s lap, thanks.

Do Christmas crackers.

Sorry, British people. I’ve embraced a lot of things about your culture, but I draw the line at Christmas crackers. I’m not sure what’s the worst thing about them – the horrible jokes, the tiny bits of crap plastic masquerading as gifts, or the paper crowns that everyone feels obligated to wear because they’re ‘festive’. Look at us, we’re wearing rings of coloured tissue paper around our heads! This is fun, right? We’re having fun! Socially-forced fun!

Buy my daughter lots of presents.

Sure, the Popple will get a few gifts. But she’s only 1 ½ years old, people. Her favourite playthings include a cardboard tube, a balloon and a box that she likes to fill with the cat’s toy mice. I’m not spending hundreds of pounds on more plastic garbage that will clutter up my living room.

Bake Christmas cookies with my child.

There would be flour everywhere. Icing in the Popple’s hair. Sprinkles stuck to the bottoms of my socks. She’d rub her toddler-spit hands into everything, making the cookies completely unappetising to everyone but her.

Plus this girl doesn’t need an excuse to eat cookies – she gets enough sweet stuff at nursery. Every time I pick her up, they say, “She ate all of her cake today!” like I should be proud of that or some s**t. OF COURSE SHE DID – IT’S BLOODY CAKE! STOP GIVING HER SO MUCH F***ING CAKE!

Make any plans for the day.

Adrian and I won’t be hosting a party on Christmas. Or attending a party. Or making an elaborate Christmas dinner. Or, potentially, even getting out of our pajamas. We’ll let the Popple dictate how the day plays out. Want to spend the whole day playing with the boxes your presents came in while ignoring the contents? Cool. Want to chase the cat around while he eats the ribbons that he’ll inevitably throw up on our bed later? Sounds good. Want to have nothing but mashed potatoes for dinner? Of course you do. Mashed potatoes are delicious.

It’s your Christmas, Popple. If it’s anything like last Christmas, it will take an entire day for us to open presents because you’ll keep getting distracted, and your father and I will pass out at 8:30pm after consuming a quarter of a pecan pie.

It will be perfect.

Me and the Popple both wearing Santa hats while I show her a Christmas ornament with a picture of me as a baby on it

16 thoughts on “What I won’t be doing this Christmas”

  • Totally agree with your thoughts on seeing Santa and buying presents. Our daughter is too young to understand Christmas at all so I don’t know if I even want to get her presents. She doesn’t need anything and I don’t want to buy just for the sake of it! She’ll never remember! But Christmas Crackers, they’re essential! I hate the crappy plastic toys, but what about DIY crackers!? #GlobalBlogging

  • I can see what you are saying but Christmas day wouldn’t be Christmas without Christmas dinner!! I haven’t had crackers since J was born because of the faff but before that I loved them and yes, visits to Father Christmas are a bit odd for a toddler but the lights and animals you get too are worth every penny as little J’s face lit up with excitement and wonder last year. I hope you have a fabulous one just the way you like it though ?

  • I agree with most of this apart from one shocking thing – NO CRACKERS! You have to have crackers, wear the hats and then wince at the rubbish jokes. That’s Christmas! 😉 #DreamTeam

  • Totally agree that at Popple’s age a lot of Christmas is wasted on a younger child….however I’m at the stage ( nearly 4yrs old) where EVERYTHING is magical and special. We’ve already seen Father Christmas at LaplandUK, we’re making a festive gingerbread house and seeing lots of family and friends and having parties. Cheesy dodgy crackers and all! 😉 #DreamTeam

  • I agree with Baby Isabella, my kids are all at the age where Christmas is a magical time. It warms my heart to see all their excitement. However, with a little one in the house I totally get where you are coming from !! For us Christmas is about family, so as long as you guys enjoy your pj, mash potato eating day, that’s all that matters!! #globalblogging

  • Ahh love The Popple’a face in that first picture ?? yep last year TM was a whole month old so it was all kind of a blur – we always spend it with our families though so it’s normally pretty busy. I think he’ll enjoy it this year but obviously he won’t have a clue what’s going on. And there is no way I am queuing/paying money to have him scream on the lap of a bearded man!!! No thank you. And he’ll be lucky if I spend £20 on his Christmas present ?

  • Have a super day together hun. I agree with not needing to buy so much and there is something a bit creepy about letting your kids sit on a strange man’s knee just because it’s Christmas. ? But crackers – sorry I love my crackers, the other year we had ones with different moustaches in and had such fun, it made my day and the crap jokes are the best! Sorry ❤️ #FamilyFun

  • Crackers??? You can’t dis crackers! We are Brits living in the US and are on a mission to find crackers as I was so surprised the Americans don’t do them. Go on… just one. #FamilyFun

  • Yes, thank-you! Finally someone who also isn’t going to spend their salary on presents for a toddler. My little one is getting a wooden train set, a book and perhaps one other thing. She spent most of the other morning kicking a balloon around. We’re also not hosting on Christmas Day for similar reasons. You have a Christmas kindred spirit 🙂 #FamilyFun

  • Good for you – make YOUR Christmas the Christmas that YOU want it to be.

    “Santa” visits ours baby & toddler group each year and, without fail, about 80% of the kids hate it! You just get photos of screaming children desperate to get out of the arms of this random stranger with a scratchy, white beard! #ABloggingGoodTime

  • This post made me think. I’ve been worrying about making Christmas perfect but maybe I don’t need to. I’m surprised at how much people spend and the debt that goes with it! Also why is the nursery giving her cake?! #GlobalBlogging

  • Aaah yes I hear that about the presents. For my children’s first (and Zaras second) they had minimal presents, from us, but really what was the point? They had lots of presents in general that they mostly didn’t like or play with or have outgrown so we would only be adding to the plastic crap mountain in our house…ooow too much perhaps? Anyway I am sure you get my drift. Also, I get what you’re saying about crackers you do make a strong point yet I expect there will be crackers at my table for their sins, as you say they’re tradition and I will no doubt be lynched if I fail to keep with said tradition. Have a lovely Christmas – your plan to not have a plan sounds perfect to me! thanks for sharing gat #familyfun xx

  • I tweeted this and completely forgot to comment on it! Back now though… I will mostly be avoiding a lot over Christmas too. As you say they are just too young still. Lets wait till they are older before the money gets spent lol! Quiet Christmases are the best! Thanks for linking to #familyfun

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