I have a toddler now and she’s stealing stuff
I realised the other day that I now live in a baby-free house. This is now a toddler house. And this is what a toddler house looks like.
While the Popple has been toddling for some time, she’s only just officially become a toddler. I’ve been looking forward to this stage, honestly. Babyhood was wonderful in a lot of ways, but it was also tough as f***, and I’m kind of ready to move on. Besides, toddlerhood means language. Exploration. Increased independence. But it also means that the Popple is really starting to get into stuff. In the past week, she has:
- Picked up our junk mail and thrown it in the toilet (which is sort of where it belongs, to be fair).
- Walked out of Boots with a bottle of hair serum in her hand, forcing me to return to the shop to apologise for raising a very tiny shoplifter.
- Helped me tidy, which sounds great, but actually involved her taking things from where they belong (ie plastic bottles in the recycling bin) and putting them where they don’t (the dirty clothes hamper).
- Splashed around in the cat fountain (yes, our cat will only drink water out of a fountain, because he’s an a**hole like that).
- Thrown tantrums because I wouldn’t let her:
- Play with an extension cord
- Pick up a crisp packet in the street
- Put her hand in the nappy bin
- Drink my wine
I know this is only the beginning. We still have the terrible twos and the threenager phase ahead of us. There will be more stupid tantrums and more little hands getting into places where they don’t belong. I’ll have to learn how to discipline a child who I know is NOT going to take to it well.
Still, there’s something exciting about the Popple developing into an actual little person with her own thoughts and opinions and the ability to express them. I suspect she will express them loudly, and they will mostly consist of things like, “GIVE ME YOUR IPHONE” and “I WANT RICE CAKES”.
I also suspect that I will read this post a few months from now when she won’t stop babbling at me and want to slap past Katie upside the head. But for now, I’d like to enjoy the anticipation of toddlerhood and all its sticky, shouty fun.