1. “I’m really tired too.”
Are you? Are you really? Because I’m willing to bet that you got more than one hour of uninterrupted sleep last night before a very small person woke you up and demanded your boob.
2. “Have you tried [insert really obvious suggestion here]?”
No, I never considered giving her a dummy. Thanks for the tip!
3. “Just let them cry it out.”
The Popple sleeps less than a foot from my face. Even if I wanted to let her cry herself to sleep (which I don’t), not even the best earplugs in the world could block out the sound.
4. “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
The Popple only naps when she’s on the move. But when I figure out how to push a pram/bounce a baby while asleep, I’ll let you know how that’s working out for me.
5. “My baby was sleeping through the night at that age.”
I hate you and your stupid sleepy baby. Sorry, that was rude. I just really need a nap.
6. “Don’t worry – it’s just a phase.”
I DON’T BELIEVE YOU I WILL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.