10 gifts you should never buy for a baby

Parenting / Monday, December 7th, 2015

I’m a big fan of sites like Etsy when it comes to gift shopping. I like the idea of supporting independent artists and buying unique presents.

In theory.

While it’s full of lovingly-crafted handmade items, Etsy is also a great place to find THE WORST STUFF EVER. Are you wondering what not to buy your baby/nephew/godchild/grandchild/that kid of that person who sits next to you in the office this Christmas/Hanukkah?

Look no further.

1. Concealed carry baby bodysuit


The tiny gun is, apparently, to help the baby “get a head start supporting the 2nd Amendment, target practicing for those upcoming hunting trips, or concealed carrying wherever they go.”

“But what happens when they outgrow of this adorably violent outfit?” you ask. Don’t worry – according to the seller, “the toy gun is the perfect size for tiny toddler hands.” It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

2. I Totally Wrecked a Vagina bodysuit

totally wrecked

Probably true, but eeew.

3. Vintage Pinocchio

vintage pinocchio


4. Obama Can’t Ban These Guns toddler tank top

obama gums

The seller says that this “super awesome tank that will surely get a smile and chuckle from everyone that sees it.” Except for all the people who see it and weep with despair for a country that cares more about gun rights than it does about protecting its children from the devastation that these weapons can cause.

5. My Little Placenta


Because every baby wants to play with a replica of the thing that connected them to your uterine wall.

6. Mommy’s a MILF, Daddy’s Got a Gun bodysuit


A rare combination of female objectification and glorification of violence.

7. Kitsch plastic baby

plastic baby

For that baby in your life that you want to scare the s**t out of.

8. #TBT bodysuit



9. Vintage baby doll

weird doll

Wearing a wool hat, cardigan, booties and nothing else, this doll is great for babies who hate pants.

10. I’m going to marry Prince George bodysuit


It’s never too early to teach girls that their self worth is based upon the man that they marry!

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8 Replies to “10 gifts you should never buy for a baby”

  1. Great list! I myself is not a fan of shirts with pics of guns/violence in it in spite of it meant to be funny, just inappropriate especially if kids are wearing it. Thanks for sharing! #bestandworst

  2. O M G these are flipping awful!! The vagina one and the #TBT haha! This is a fabulous guide and I will make sure I never buy any for my mates with new babies. Fab idea for a post and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst see you again I hope xx

  3. No. Just no. Why do these things even exist?! I actually blushed once I saw a baby in a onsie that read “I’m proof my mom likes to f****” Not. Even. Kidding. Your reactions were hillarious though. Have to keep a sense of humor to resist the urge to smack someone 😉 #bestandworst

  4. Oh wow, they are all SOOOOO terrible! I’m just shocked, no I’m appalled. I think the first is the worst, talk about unbelievable.
    Thanks for linking up and hope you can tomorrow too #TheBabyFormula

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