When I was pregnant, I imagined that life with a baby would be pretty similar to life without one, except that I would have this wiggly accessory with me all the time. You would be like one of those really large handbags – a bit awkward to carry but super cute.
Here’s what I didn’t realise.
You are your own person with your own ideas of what you like (chewing on my hand/your hand/your dress/ANYTHING), the sound of the hairdryer, our painting of tenements in Glasgow) and what you don’t like (loud noises, pants, pretty much anything after 5pm). You’re not going to sit quietly while I eat at a gastropub or while I watch the Great British Bake Off just because I want you to. You are lively and wilful, and it’s easier for both of us if I just go along with what you want.
Want to chew on your book instead of look at it? Chow away. You’re happier in your nappy than you are in the cute little outfit I picked out for you? Go naked. You want me to put you in the baby carrier and bounce you around to ‘U Can’t Touch This’ so you can fall asleep? My my my my. You have very specific tastes, Popple, and that’s what makes you special. Never feel the need to conform. Be yourself. Keep it weird.
Who needs pants anyway, amiright?