If my toddler could talk: our morning commute

Glasgow First Bus

Me: [Puts on the baby carrier]

Popple: [Raises her hands] Up up up up up!

Me: Okay, let’s go up! Are you ready to go outside?

Popple: OUTSIDE? I love the outside! [Kicks her legs wildly]

Me: Okay, let’s go wait for the bus!

Popple: I love buses!

Me: I know! Buses are your favourite.

[Walk across the street and stand at the bus stop]

Popple: Where is this bus you were telling me about?

Me: It’s coming, I promise. Let’s watch the cars go by while we’re waiting.

Popple: I JUST SAW A TRUCK!

Me: Yes, trucks are good, aren’t they?

Popple: But where is the bus?

Me: The bus will be here soon. Look! [Points to our reflection in a car window] Who’s that?

Popple: [Smiles and kicks her feet] IT’S ME! I’M IN THAT CAR!

Me: Yes you are! Isn’t that exciting?

Popple: But…

Me: I know, I know. You want the bus. The bus is a few minutes late today.

Popple: I want to get down now.

Me: You can’t get down. The bus isn’t here yet.

Popple: But I want to go pick up that shiny thing.

Me: That shiny thing is a piece of broken glass. It’s pointy and it will hurt you.

Popple: I’m just going to go get it. [Starts squirming]

Me: No no no, you’re staying right here. Look – here comes our bus!

Popple: THE BUS! BUS BUS BUS BUS BUS!

[Get on the bus and sit down]

Me: Isn’t this great? We’re on the bus!

Popple: I want to get off now.

Me: But…

Popple: I WANT TO GET OFF! [Flails and screams at the top of her lungs]

Me: Here’s a rice cake.

[Popple stuffs it into her mouth. Finishes it.]

Popple: GET ME OFF THIS BUS!

Me: Here’s a rice cake.

[Continue to ply her with rice cakes for the next 30 minutes until we arrive in town.]

Me: Okay, this is our stop. Time to get off the bus.

Popple: [Waves wildly at the bus as it departs] Bye bye bus! Bye bye! I love you!

Petite Pudding
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
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28 Comment

  1. Haha fantastic!! XXXX

  2. Haha, I was hoping there would be some singing on the bus too – like the wheels on the bus go round and round. My two love the bus too, I on the otherhand am not a fan. Probably because my two are like Popple in that as soon as they get on they start shouting “are we there yet?”

  3. Brilliant – love this. Spot on, my little one loves the bus too and likes to stand on the seat while shouting loudly as cars go by (I think these are happy shouts but I’m not sure)…xx #puddinglove

  4. Mouse, Moo and Me Too says: Reply

    Haha, this made me chuckle 😊 You’re brave catching the bus, I can’t face buses even if I don’t have a child with me! Always get on the wrong one, never have the right money, never have a rice cake to entertain me! #PuddingLove

  5. The power of the rice cake haha! The toddler mind boggles me…!

  6. Such a cool post Katie, so true that they can’t wait to get on and then want to get off. At least your snack was healthy, mine are usually lollipops 😉 Loving the new look too! ❤️ p

  7. Hahah! Love it.. the power of snack bribery. Works every time. #puddinglove

  8. I vaguely remember my daughter all excited to get on a klddie roller coaster ride at Disneyland and then screaming her head off the ENTIRE ride. I could’t imagine the confined space of a bus that happening on. #fartglitter :))

  9. Haha I wish Mini still loved the bus! She hates it now! Lucy xx #triballove

  10. haha! this is brilliant! the power of a snack lol 😉 #puddinglove

  11. Every journey we’ve ever taken. My tot has been asking to ‘sitting on the airplane’ for the last three days. I guess he’s forgotten our last plane trip last Sunday during which he screamed continuously for an hour.

    #fartglitter

  12. Ha ha! They only get funnier when they can actually talk, my 4-year-old comes out with some great stuff. I quite often do the inner monologue of my 14-month-old though, helps me through the day. There is only so many times I can translate enthusiastic pointing and the word “urrghh” #bigpinklink

  13. Haha this is too funny. Snack bribery works every time doesn’t it x #bigpinklink

  14. I am glad I am not the only one who resorts to food for silence in public! I find public transport travel stressful so I salute you for doing! #bigpinklink

  15. My 2 tweenagers love the bus too, it’s all spotting this, noticing that, 20 questions about the route, destination and time of journey! such a joy but I do like having a ‘high up’ nose in peoples gardens!! #fartglitter

  16. Do you live in Glasgow?? I recognized it right away from the tiny picture. I’m from Glasgow and miss it lots! I always find bribery with snacks is essential when out and about with the little people #bigpinklink

    1. Yup, I’m in Glasgow! That’s not a picture of my actual bus, but it looks just like it. Good ol’ First Bus!

  17. This is hilarious! 🙂 It sounds just like J. Bless her! X

  18. I am so glad I am not the only one who uses rice cakes as silencers! ‘The mummies on the bus go bribe, bribe, bribe’! #Chucklemums

  19. Ha ha brilliant – that definitely captures the contrary natures of a toddler! Gotta love a few well timed rice cakes xx

  20. Haha you are BRAVE! I once got a bus with the toddler when she was a baby and it was so hideous I never did it again. I ALWAYS have rice cakes to hand. Good work. Thanks for linking to #chucklemums 😀

  21. I am yet to attempt this but we have done trains. Instead we point out all the buses, bikes, lorries, tractors etc on our car journeys. Much less stressful I imagine. #chucklemums

  22. agentspitback says: Reply

    Bwahahaha…I love this! Too funny. I would imagine my youngest would be the same as he would immediately demand to get off the minute we got on. #bigpinklink

  23. Oh that really took me back to baby on bus years – how i miss them. Jo #chucklemums

  24. Ahaha I love it! So funny. Not got on a bus with TM before actually, as we live a 15 minute walk from town and have to drive anywhere else so it’s walking or cars for us! I wish we knew what they were trying to say, funny little urchins. #bigpinklink

  25. Hehehe I can picture your daily commute so well. I am impressed popple will sit for 30 minutes mine would be running up and down the bloody thing. #bigpinklink

  26. This is too funny! Ithe reminds me a bit of how many snacks my toddler gets when we are at church to keep him quiet. Gotta love all of the silly things that they say!#TribalLove

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