This is my first Mother’s Day, so I thought I’d take some time to reflect on what being a mother means to me.
Being a mother means:
- That someone else comes first. Always. No matter what.
- Being able to do pretty much anything with one hand. Cook dinner. Answer emails. Put on earrings. Make the bed. Feed the a**hole cat.
- Mastering the fine art of balancing a baby on your lap while you pee.
- Not sleeping in. Not sleeping enough. Not sleeping with your partner, but sleeping in the baby’s room with her, your head pressed up against the crib slats so she can pull your hair.
- A high tolerance for grossness. Vomit. Pee. Snot. Poop. Drool. Bits of food that your baby has put in her mouth and then spit out into her high chair.
- Singing lots of children’s songs and secretly loving them. (Especially The Grand Old Duke of York, which is a proper cracking tune.)
- That a baby cuddle can make even the sh**tiest day awesome.
- That you’re willing to spend most of your day bent over like a hunchback because your baby is learning how to walk and she needs your support.
- Referring to you and your baby as a single entity, ie “We just did a pee in the bathtub, didn’t we?”
- That no matter how many times you try to tidy up, your living room always looks like Babies R Us has vomited all over it.
- Staying in instead of going out – which is fine, because what could be better than wine, cheese and a box set of The Wire? (NOTHING. THESE ARE ALL OF THE BEST THINGS.)
- That what you look like isn’t really that important anymore, so you’re pretty much always a hot mess with a mum bun.
- Your main form of exercise is pushing a buggy around for hours, usually in the pouring rain, while your baby naps. You burn so many calories that you need to eat ALL THE CAKE to keep up your energy. Fact.
- Letting your baby lick you on the face and then thanking her for the kisses.
- You never say “No,” but rather, “Nonononono,” as in “Nonononono, we don’t eat out of the recycling bin.”
- Using baby wipes to clean pretty much everything, including yourself.
- When you see the look on your baby’s face when they see bubbles, you can’t help but feel that all is right with the world.