Things I want my daughter to know about being a woman


1. Love your body, because you look great. Really.

People come in all shapes and sizes. You’re probably going to grow up to be short and skinny, and there won’t be much you can do about that. Given that I’m 5’3 and Daddy is 5’5, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be a short arse. And that’s fine. You come from a long line of short women, and we’re all pretty awesome.

As for your weight, my little somewhere-between-the-2nd-and-9th-centiles baby, you can’t put on much of it no matter how hard you try. You seem to have inherited Daddy’s ability to eat as much as you want and barely gain an ounce. He says that it all goes to his brain. I like to think the same is true for you and that you are a baby genius, even though you try to lick everything you see in public places.

Someday you may wish that you were bigger. Other girls may wish they were small like you. None of this wishing does any good. Accept yourself as you are, because you are more beautiful than you will ever know.

2. It’s nice to be pretty, but it’s not the most important thing.

You’re a really, really pretty baby. I know I’m not exactly objective here, but I’m not the only one who’s noticed. People are always coming up to me to tell me how adorable you are, mostly because of your big brown eyes. Those came from Daddy, so I can’t take any credit there.

Being pretty is great, but you know what’s better? Being smart. Kind. Creative. Compassionate. Spend more time on those traits and less time worrying about the state of your hair or how you look in your glasses.

(Yup, you’re going to have to wear glasses. Both Daddy and I are severely short-sighted. But that’s okay, because you seem to love glasses, given that you’re always stealing ours and putting them in your mouth.)

3. There’s no such thing as girl stuff and boy stuff. It’s just stuff.

Some girls are into pink, princesses and dolls. That’s fine. Some girls like blue, dinosaurs and trucks. That’s okay too. Pretty much everyone likes robots, because robots are the best.

My point is, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something or like something because it’s for boys. Do whatever makes you happy, as long as it’s not playing American football, because that sport is boring as hell.

4. Never feel like you need to wear heels. Or makeup. Or fake tan.

As a short person, you may be tempted to wear heels to make yourself taller. Resist this temptation. It’s better to be short and callus-free than a tall person with bloody toes who falls over all the time.

Most makeup isn’t worth the time it takes to apply it. Plus, if you’re anything like me, you’ll end up accidentally wiping it off 10 minutes after putting it on anyway. If people can’t appreciate the way you look without it, fuck them.

Mascara is good, though. Mommy loves mascara.

You seem to have inherited my pasty white skin instead of Daddy’s Puerto Rican tan. Remember that there’s nothing wrong with being pale. Fake tan looks unnatural on people like us, because we clearly aren’t meant to be in the sun. I only have two shades – freckly white and oh-shit-I-forgot-my-sun-cream red.

Speaking of sun cream, always carry some with you. Even in the winter. You never know when the sun is going to sneak up on you.

5. Babies are great, but not every woman needs to have one.

I love being a Mommy. I’ve travelled, lived abroad and gotten degrees, but you’re still the best thing I’ve ever done. Having a baby opens you up in ways you could only imagine and encourages you to become a better version of yourself. Sometimes I’m so full of love for you that I think I’m going to explode, but in a good way, not in a I-just-ate-a-takeaway-curry-at-2am kind of way.

That being said, Mommy-hood isn’t for everyone. If it’s not for you, that’s totally fine. You can spend more time on yourself – taking holidays, reading, pursuing your interests. You can go out in the evenings without worrying about a babysitter or drink an entire bottle of champagne in the middle of the day, just because. You can be an auntie to your friends’ kids and spoil them rotten, then take them home when they start to drive you batshit crazy.

Do what’s right for you. I’ll be right there with you, thinking that whatever you do is the most amazing thing ever.

40 Replies to “Things I want my daughter to know about being a woman”

  1. This is lovely, I have two girls and I would love them to know all of these things too. Thanks for sharing, oh and you’re right….she really IS pretty!! #TheBabyFormula

    1. Thanks! I think so too, but of course I’m biased. 🙂

  2. Yes, yes yes! I agree with all of this! Excellent post. You’re daughter is being nurtured in a fantastic feminist household xx #abitofeverything

  3. I shall be taking your list and adding it to my own for my daughter as she grows. Lovely words and ones I wish I’d known

  4. Oh my days, this is so lovely! I absolutely loved this.

  5. Love this post – it’s what I want my daughter to know too, that she is her own person and that no matter what she chooses, I’ll always be there for her. x #abitofeverything

  6. love this post. so spot on. My 5 year old is a real girly girl and i am not sure where she gets it from. She loves all things glittery and pink and girlie. so those messages are so crucially important! thanks for the inspiration.

  7. great list. All things that I hope my little girl grows up to believe

  8. Carolyn Sargent says: Reply

    Katie. All your posts are so great you really need to put them into a book…don’t know how you would do that but would like to help you if we can..financially that is..every new mother needs to read your experiences and share your insight into being a’s important and beautiful…xox gma…could be called first year etc…

    1. Thanks! I don’t know if my thoughts are coherent enough for a book, but maybe one day – you never know!

  9. Aww this is so beautiful and all important things for your daughter to know. I have a son but these all apply to him as well to some extent. Whatever he chooses on life I will always support him and be there to offer advice and a hug if he needs it xx #abitofeverything

  10. Oh, really great advice! I totally agree with all of these. I’m tempted to write one for my sons…


  11. I liked your post yesterday but didn’t have a chance to comment but was reminded by the #abitofeverything linky 🙂 I absolutely love this post and all the advice you have given! xx

  12. Goodness this is so a definitive guide. I don’t have a daughter but I want my son to know all this too!

  13. Lovely advice for your gorgeous girl. I join the pale skin brigade too and so can never be bothered to fake tan! xx #abitofeverything

    1. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworsr x

  14. Such a lovely post. The Popple is lucky to have such a fab mum! I am a little ‘un too (5’1″”) and being small rocks! #abitofeverything

    1. I think being short is great, except for this whole buying trousers business. Not enough shops offer a short option for trousers, even though there are loads of us height-challenged people out there!

  15. Great post full of solid advice. Its weird how early the gender policing starts. My daughter went to school for fancy dress day as a ninja turtle. A horrified girl whispered to her mother “Mummy, that girl’s dressed like a BOY!”. Nope. She’s dressed as a turtle!

    Point 4 about make up made me laugh!


    1. The Popple was a ninja turtle for Halloween! My husband was thrilled.

  16. Beautiful advice. I agree! #abitofeverything

  17. Great advice.

    I’ll be telling my daughter all of these.
    Can’t stand fake tan!!

  18. So sweet and hugely valuable advice – I’ll definitely be sharing these pearls of wisdom with my daughter (if we have a girl!) #abitofeverything

  19. This is just so lovely! Your daughter is lucky to have a mummy like you 🙂

  20. Great post and makes me like you very much. I already knew you were bright before you mentioned those degrees. This post should be required reading for every girl and woman

  21. Love it! And yes, mascara is good! Just don;t buy the ones that run easily. Also, it’s not easy to get that perfect mascara, should always ask Mommy! 🙂 #abitofeverything

    1. It IS hard to find the right mascara. If I get the waterproof stuff, I sometimes forget to take it off. But if I get the regular stuff, it can come off in the rain. Choices, choices.

  22. So very true. I agree with all of these and will definitely try to teach my daughter the same things. Pinning, tweeting and stumbling. Happy Friday! <3

    1. Thanks so much, Lindsey!

  23. This is fantsstic advice for your daughter. I am with you on many counts, I dont do makeup apart from mascara either and I also am very familiar with those two shades of skin. I have never has the slightest hint of a tan in my 42 years of living.
    Thanks for sharing with us, Tracey xx #abitofeverything

    1. Tans are overrated anyway. I think us pale people need to accept our paleness!

      1. Pale and interesting. Being a rock chick helped xx

  24. What a gorgeous post! It is so important to accept and love yourself for who you are and sometimes we, grown up women, tend to forget that as well. Thanks for reminding me! #abitofeverything

    1. I agree – sometimes us adults have to try to remember to be kind to ourselves as well!

  25. […] most viewed post Winner this week is Squirmypopple – Things I want My Daughter to know about being a woman – a lovely post about the more important things you would want to share with your children […]

  26. […] most viewed post last week was from Squirmy Popple (I Love that name). Things I Want My Daughter To Know About Being A Woman is a wonderful post about the advice she would give her daughter Popple about being a woman in […]

  27. Sadly the wanting to be pretty etc thing is not something you can protect them from. We’re going through very sad times with our eldest who is 11 despite never bringing our kids up to be body-conscious etc. Let’s hope your little one is immune! Lovely post. #abitofeverything

  28. newmummyblogcom says: Reply

    A lovely post, and one I SO agree with. I hope our little ones grow up in a world which is accepting and lets us and them live as they wish. Thanks for sharing #TheBabyFormula

  29. Love this! I felt like I could have written the same thing myself. Thank so much for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely x

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