So your baby is crying

Isla crying

The first thing to do is determine why your baby is crying. You can use this simple checklist to do this.

Your baby may be crying because they:

  • Are hungry
  • Are gassy
  • Are in pain
  • Are tired
  • Are overstimulated
  • Are understimulated
  • Are too hot
  • Are too cold
  • Have reflux
  • Have colic
  • Are allergic/intolerant to one or all of the following – dairy, soy, caffeine, chocolate, eggs, wheat, fruits, vegetables, E numbers, those little almond biscuits you sometimes get with your coffee in a cafe, ramen noodles, that weird orange sauce on Chinese food
  • Want to be cuddled
  • Are tired of being cuddled
  • Are sitting in their own poop
  • Want you to stop making those faces that you think are so funny
  • Have seen that you just finished setting the table for dinner

Now that you’ve figured out why your baby is crying, all you have to do to stop the crying is:

  • Feed them
  • Wind them
  • Put them down for a nap
  • Wave lots of toys in their face
  • Stop waving toys in their face
  • Take off a layer of clothes
  • Put on a layer of clothes
  • Cuddle them
  • Stop cuddling them
  • Change them
  • Take them for a walk/drive
  • Bounce them around in your arms until you feel like your back is about to give out
  • Give them a dummy
  • Put on white noise
  • Put on headphones and drown out the crying with your music of choice
  • Distract them with the sound of your own exhausted sobbing

Easy peasy.

One Reply to “So your baby is crying”

  1. wonderfulandaverage says: Reply

    You make it sound so simple! You forgot to mention that they might also be crying just because they like the sound of it or because jupiter is aligned with mars. Either scenario can be resolved by doing exactly three of the things in the second list. No more and no less. They must also be done in the right order while standing on one leg (the left one). Otherwise they will scream for another hour.

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