My toddler controls my life

Popple pointing from the back

“I’m going to go make a pee-pee,” I said to Adrian.

“Okay,” he said, not even acknowledging the fact that I’d just used the term ‘pee-pee’ when our daughter wasn’t in the room.

Because this is just what we do now.

We have become those parents who continue calling each other Mummy and Daddy long after the child has gone to bed, who ‘do a brush brush’ instead of simply brushing their teeth, who casually chat about caca like it’s totally normal.

I know people who seem to have more or less continued with their pre-child lives after having a baby. They take the same sort of holidays, enjoy the same sort of hobbies and eat the same sort of food, expecting their child to adapt to their schedule, not the other way around.

We are not those people.

It is very clear who is in charge in our house, and she is around 20 pounds and afraid of the radiator. She dictates my hairstyle choices (no hats or ponytails, because she wants full access to my hair at all times), when we can go out to do activities (between approximately 9:30am-12pm, so as not to interfere with her nap time) and how I spend my evenings (sliding her back and forth across our wooden floors or allowing her to jump on my torso).

We don’t take road trips because she refuses to sit in her car seat for more than an hour. We don’t stay long at parties because she gets bored. We don’t eat dinner any later than 5:15pm because that would cause her to go into full hangry mode. We don’t leave her with babysitters because she gets too upset.

We can say no. We DO say no. No to a cookie at 8am, no to a cookie at 7pm, no to holding an entire bag of cookies and running around the house with it. No to watching music videos four times in one afternoon and no to jumping on the coffee table.

But here’s the simple fact about parenting: it’s easier to give in to what they want. So we do.

When what she wants isn’t dangerous (like playing with a knife) or otherwise not a great idea (like eating cake for breakfast), we tend to just go with it. That’s how I ended up spending 20 minutes walking up and down the stairs at the train station in the pissing January rain last night.

She started up the stairs slowly, one hand on the railing, one hand reaching for mine.

“Wouldn’t you like to go home to see Daddy and Milo?” I asked hopefully.

“No no no!” she shouted.

And so we went up and down the muddy, wet steps for ages. It was the worst. But I went along with it, because it made her happy.

I sometimes wonder if letting a tiny person pretty much dictate our every move has been a big mistake. It’s entirely possible that we’ve created an adorable little tyrant who will spend the next 18 years demanding that we cater to her every whim. Some people have suggested this to me, gently, in much kinder terms.

But here’s the thing – I don’t see how it’s possible to NOT let a child take over your life. Once the Popple came tearing out of my hoo-ha and into the world, things were never the same again. My body was different (all squishy with a gaping belly button). My mind was different (what was left of it, anyway, after months no sleep). And, most of all, my priorities were different. Keep her safe. Keep her happy. Keep her from losing her shit. Everything else kind of faded into the background.

That hasn’t changed, even though we’re a long way from those newborn days. I may spend most of my time in an office now, but the main focus of my day is still putting a smile on that grubby little face – even if that means climbing the stairs in the pouring rain.

Diary of an imperfect mum

 

A Mum Track Mind
Diary of An Imperfect Mum

28 Replies to “My toddler controls my life”

  1. I give in to everything – the path of least resistance is the best way! #familyfun

  2. Here here hun. I would do just about anything to make my boys happy as it makes me happy too, even climbing steps in the rain. #FamilyFun

    1. Popping back to say thank you for linking up to #EatSleepBlogRT 🌟

  3. As a fellow toddler owner I feel you! I believe in picking my battles, and there are so many that I just don’t have the energy for. #FamilyFun

  4. My children, without doubt, rule my life or at least the hours of 7-7. They call the shots, other than like you, chocolate for breakfast! WE have tried VERY hard to maintain some sort of similarity to our pre kids existence but we are forever changed, I don’t think there is any other way when it comes to the little people. Thanks for joining us at #familyfun xx

  5. There is nothing wrong with giving in to harmless “demands”, we all do it. And our kids always rule our lives, even as they get bigger lol.
    #FamilyFun

  6. I have always believed in doing everything I can to make my 11 month old happy. This even meant when she was poorly going to bed with her at 6pm and lying next to her all night. I think this has made her grow into a very happy baby with a smile on her face. She rarely cries and knows if she calls for mama I will always go to her.

    Love this post xx

  7. You sound like the best kind of mummy and she will always look back and say that you were fun – that has to be a good reward because not everyone does! Oh I look forward to next week’s “Making The Popple Happy Series” – it can’t beat the january rain steps story surely?! #FamilyFun

  8. We are the same! Our lives have changed out of all recognition since having kids but we wouldn’t have it any other way. I have an older daughter too, she is 22 and her childhood whizzed past. They drive me mad at times but we also have a lot of laughter. Lovely post.

  9. Oh man do I empathise – my three year old is ruling our roost 100%

  10. Ha ha I spent last night standing in the entrance of the supermarket bargaining with, shall we go home and see Daddy and Kiki?

    It’s amazing what we go through to ease their little power struggles but it’s totally worth it if they are happy and healthy!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

  11. post baby parents with the pre-baby life are lying! I swear thre is no way they can sip champagne on a yacht with matching sunglasses, eat more than a two course meal with chatter in between with a toddler. They have posed for a pic and written a lovely description when really they’ve had to visit the bathroom just as the starters arrived because the little one suddenly needs to go and there is no waiting around. After two bites of their meal their LO has started squirming and is about to have a full blown melt down in a fancy restaurant. Half an hour later thy get to taste their third mouthful with is stone cold and they are wondering why thy didn’t go to a place with a ball pit that serves a kids menu with a toy.

  12. The first line of this had me in stitches, we say things like that a lot and as you say we don’t even notice! It’s so lovely to see the little smiles on their faces isn’t it, happy baby happy mum!

    #stayclassymama

  13. This sounds just like me. I always to try to be fair and let her do what she wants, as long as it’s not going to put her in danger, make her sick or cause us to be late! I still end up saying no quite a lot though! #ablogginggoodtime

  14. Right there with you. Mine is 5 and I still went up and down the escalator at the mall 20 times last week because she thinks the “magic stairs” are awesome #stayclassy

  15. As a now mum of 2, one toddler and one fully fledged little human now at 6 I can say I have been on both sides and my advice, pick your battles. I do say yes more now because why the heck not,, if it makes them happy and I am ok with it then that’s ok, and it also means that they absolutely categorically understand that when I say no it means no. Win win. x #fortheloveofBLOG

  16. I am dictated too by my children. I always used the ‘pick your battles’ mantra. Unfortunately, I’m yet to find a battle I can win! #fortheloveofblog

  17. haha – first sentence I was like – yep I repeatedly now say poo-poo even when my son isn’t around! This is my life too, our three year old is running our lives and its insane. It’s Saturday night and I was just making cookies with him at 6pm (one hour before bedtime) because he wanted to and I am such a pushover #stayclassymama

  18. Yup, we also fit into that mummy/daddy/pee-pee category… how did that happen?! lol! great read, really enjoyed it. At the end of the day don’t we all just want our tiny humans to be happy, and I sure as hell, just like you, will do anything to ensure she is happy, healthy, content…I guess that sometimes mean they rule our worlds 🙂 and a cookie for breakie! #fortheloveofBLOG xxx

  19. Made me laugh about how you still use baby language even after bedtime.lol! Hard to get out if the mindset when you’ve been on duty all day. #fortheloveofBLOG

  20. Don’t worry, we’re the same. You have to pick your battles don’t you, else you’d spend your entire life fighting with someone who has no social shame and will happily lay down in the toddler snack aisle of Sainsbury’s (as my 23 month old did a couple of weeks ago because I wanted to walk one way up the aisle and she HAD to go the other). As long as you get some ‘No’s’ in throughout the day then I think you’re good.

    #fortheloveofBLOG

  21. I am a huge fan of pick your battles, life is hard enough without fighting a kid on something that really isn’t a problem. #EatSleepBlogRT

  22. It just shows, we will do anything for our little ones. What’s wrong with seeing them happy. I know who rules our house and it’s not me or my OH!
    #EatSleepBlogRT

  23. You have more patience than me going up and down the stairs in the rain! Sounds like Popple is a lucky girl 🙂 #eatsleepblogrt

  24. Haha she will be a fantastic dictator one day ! 😉 seriously though, isn’t that what parenting is about? I know sometimes you can get tired, stressed, overwhelmed, unwell, and lots of other things… But seeing the world through a Childs eyes is just pure beauty 🙂 xxx #ABloggingGoodTime

  25. I had such ideals about parenting before I had my daughter, and they still lurk somewhere in the back of my mind, but the reality is so different! We rarely have a night with our bed to ourselves because it’s easier to give in, you just do what you have to. Great post! X

  26. The path of least resistance is the one I will inevitably choose and I think most of us are the same if we are honest! Anything for an easier life hey! Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG

  27. What an adorable post! I have missed reading this – Love “Keep her safe. Keep her happy. Keep her from losing her shit. Everything else kind of faded into the background.” – Im sitting here nodding and saying a virtual AMEN, – they rule the house, she is in charge – just don’t let her know it lol x

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