If my baby could talk: a conversation about walking

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…and she’s off.

Popple: I’m just going to go get that buttony thing over there.

Me: First of all, that ‘buttony thing’ is the TV remote, and it doesn’t go in your mouth.

Popple: I didn’t say anything about putting it in my mouth.

Me: So you’re not planning to chew on the remote?

Popple: No.

[I stare at her.]

Popple: Okay, I am.

Me: I knew it. Second of all, you know you can’t walk, right?

Popple: BUTTONS! [Starts trying to walk across the room towards the remote. I support her under her arms reluctantly.]

Me: Haven’t you heard of crawling? You know, the method of transport favoured by almost all babies since forever?

Popple: This is better. [Grabs the remote and puts it in her mouth.]

Me: Yeah, walking is great, but you can’t do it yet. If you’re not going to crawl, you can at least try cruising. You know, when you practice walking while holding onto a piece of furniture.

Popple: Like this? [Starts side-stepping while holding onto the coffee table.]

Me: Exactly! See, this is how you learn how to get your balance, and then…

Popple: MORE BUTTONS! [Sees the Amazon Fire remote and grabs it, letting go of the table. I catch her before she falls.]

Me: That’s why you need to hold on to something! What if I hadn’t been here to catch you?

Popple: But you were. You always are.

Me: You’re right, I am. It’s kind of my job.

Popple: I’m going to go slap the bag of recycling in the kitchen.

Me: Why?

Popple: Makes a good noise.

Me: Fair enough.

[The Popple starts walking to the kitchen and I hold her steady, because I’m a mum and that’s what we do.]

20 Comment

  1. The Anxious Dragon says: Reply

    Bless, she obviously has complete faith in your ability to catch her and keep her safe. #Fartglitter

  2. I remember that killer back ache stage so well! #FartGlitter

  3. Gorgeous and hilarious- I like this wee one 🙂

    #fartglitter

  4. Hahhahhaaa! But mommy, that’s what those buttons are for. In.my.mouth. 😉 Hilarious post. Well done in trying to get into your kid’s head. 😀 #fartglitter

  5. Hah! I remember this phase. Everything in the mouth and trying to walk before they’re ready. She’s right though, we are always there to catch them! #Fartglitter

  6. Argh the trying to walk stage! Piglet did this. He would just walk around for ages without letting go. I would spend forever just supporting him walking. Eventually he did walk independently, but it felt like I was waiting forever for it to happen. #fartglitter

    1. She seems really confident, but I’m not ready to let her go on her own just yet. I want those legs to be a little steadier first!

  7. Good luck! This stage kills your back!

    1. It definitely does – my back hurts in places I didn’t know I had!

  8. Haha. this is very cute!. a penny for their thoughts, ey? Thanks for sharing.

  9. Brilliant! Loved this… and what’s the obsession with remotes? Or phones? Or hoovers? Or anything that’s not a toy basically? 🙂 #abitofeverything

    Nadia – ScandiMummy x

    1. I know! The Popple has pretty much lost interest in all of her toys and only wants to play with regular objects – remotes, phones, DVDs, etc. I’m glad we spent so much money on fun, educational toys. Sigh.

  10. Haha love this! Oh she sounds brilliant. I have so much to look forward to – my husband was a bum shuffled so I may end up with one of those! #abitofeverything

  11. This is fab, thanks for sharing. I love this stage. #abitofeverything

  12. Bwahahaha…loved this!! Hilarious! #abitofeverything

  13. What a great post, it really made me smile! Good luck with your little ones walking! Mummy to the rescue 🙂 xxx #Abitofeverything

  14. I remember that I between stage well. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

  15. […] to St Andrews was the cottage that we stayed in. She spent hours happily running back and forth (supported by me), picking up everything she could find and sticking it in her mouth. TV remotes. Beer mats. DVDs. […]

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