How to calm a colicky Popple

Let’s talk about crying for a minute.

All babies cry, but some babies cry more than others. These babies are often said to have colic, which affects around 1 out of every 5 babies. The Popple is one of these babies.

Colic is when healthy babies cry uncontrollably for no clear reason. Doctors suspect that it’s caused by excessive wind or an immature digestive system, but the truth is that no one really knows why some babies tend to lose their shit around dinner time. This is not ordinary crying. This is limbs flailing, red-in-the-face squalling. You try to hug your baby and they scratch you and push you away. You try to feed them and they scream at your boob. You sing them lullabies and they drown them out with their wailing. You cry too. It’s tough.

There are lots of things that you can do to try to calm your colicky baby, and we’ve tried them all. Nothing works every time, but this is what works the most often for us:

Blasting the hairdryer

Hairdryer

Babies love white noise because it reminds them of being in the womb. Apparently, my womb sounds like a cheap hairdryer by the aptly-named BabyBliss company. We’ve tried numerous white noise apps and products, but the Popple won’t settle down for anything other than the whir of the actual hairdryer.

Sometimes we have to turn on the hairdryer in order to get the Popple to calm down enough to eat. This is a common scene in our house – me with the Popple on my boob and Adrian standing a few feet away with the hairdryer in his hand, his finger on the cold blast button so the room doesn’t get too hot. He sometimes does this for up to an hour. What a catch – am I right, ladies?

Bouncing

The Popple likes to be in motion. We don’t have a car and she’s meh on the pram, so we need to keep her moving ourselves. Sometimes I bounce her around in the baby carrier. Sometimes I rock her in the rocking chair. Sometimes Adrian dances with her to the soothing sound of Schmoyoho videos or Nintendo theme songs. She’s getting quite the pop culture education from her father.

Playing “Kiss from a Rose” by Seal

The first time I tried the Seal Solution, the Popple had been crying for hours. In an attempt to distract her, I turned on the most relaxing song on Adrian’s awesome Perfect 90s Playlist on Spotify – “Kiss from a Rose”. The Popple got quiet. Before the song was halfway over, she was asleep. I put it on again. And again. She slept. It was glorious.

Thank you, Seal. Your sexy voice is music to my baby’s ears.

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