Thursday, 26 November (or November 26th, as my people call it), is a very important day. It is Thanksgiving, the most wonderful of all the American holidays. The point of the day is to eat as much food as possible until you fall asleep on the couch. Many of the things you eat are mushy and beige and delicious.
It is quite possibly our greatest invention, and America invented the 8-track tape, bubble wrap and monster trucks, so that’s saying a lot.
You won’t be able to fully appreciate the awesomeness of this holiday since you’re not eating solid foods yet, though it’s not for lack of trying.
You’ll just have to take my word for it that there is nothing better than a plate of starches swimming in gravy, followed by a slice of pumpkin pie. And apple pie. And sweet potato pie. And pecan pie. Followed by a food-induced coma. Followed by indigestion.
The best I can offer you this Thanksgiving is milk. I know you have milk every day so it’s hard to get excited about this, but maybe this milk will taste just that little bit better because it will be made up mostly of pie.